I love to run down the beach naked. That rocks, when the wind pounds against you.
When I dance at the club I think of sex, I think of grief and release, I think of death and life. I wish I could paint my music.
I need a knew expressive sense. The seventh sense. One that can artistically throw your emotions and thoughts out to someone else and have them feel exactly what you feel at that moment. A new form of expression.
I wonder if my dad misses me sometimes and realizes he makes me cry so much.
I wonder if hateful people can feel the way I do when I see a missile on the back of a truck on the highway.
Or if those mean people would chaise a rainbow home the way I did yesterday, and stand in the middle of the road until it faded out of sight.
I wonder if Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan ever floated the thought of actually dating.
Can someone who killed all their life actually ever really love something completely without the thought of it dying interrupting their hearts’ sight?
Hmmmmmmm…………………
Monday, October 18, 2010
One Day...
I want a love affair. Not with a person but with a foreign place, a foreign ocean.
I dream about standing thigh high in the waters of a foreign shore. A new smell of sea salt and a different flavor to the wind. A new caress that sets my mind free of all thoughts that are not purely elemental. I would feel a tragic closeness with it. An inescapable desire to lose myself in a natural bliss kept fresh from the modern breath of the world.
I could become a rock on the shore and feel the waves crash against my rough edges, slowly creating a smoother version of myself.
I could become a breeze that gropes the wandering stranger as they walk along my shore and I could fill them with a mad desire to run bare backed against my winds and sing with a childlike freedom.
If there is a heaven, when my faulty flesh and cold bones end, this is what I wish. I want to be the element of surprise.That would be nice. I will masturbate the idea for a while and then tuck it away in this notebook.
Maybe I will read it again ...one day.
I dream about standing thigh high in the waters of a foreign shore. A new smell of sea salt and a different flavor to the wind. A new caress that sets my mind free of all thoughts that are not purely elemental. I would feel a tragic closeness with it. An inescapable desire to lose myself in a natural bliss kept fresh from the modern breath of the world.
I could become a rock on the shore and feel the waves crash against my rough edges, slowly creating a smoother version of myself.
I could become a breeze that gropes the wandering stranger as they walk along my shore and I could fill them with a mad desire to run bare backed against my winds and sing with a childlike freedom.
If there is a heaven, when my faulty flesh and cold bones end, this is what I wish. I want to be the element of surprise.That would be nice. I will masturbate the idea for a while and then tuck it away in this notebook.
Maybe I will read it again ...one day.
Friday, October 1, 2010
If they loved me
If my friends loved me they would bring me an avocado with some bacon while I worked... just say'en.
Woof WOOF!
I have now moved my PC to the sun room. Windows open and the fresh breeze blowing through. Love it.
I have now got the best Tuque/beanie in the WORLD! Rivaled only by the ever popular growing fad of the blue headband. Due to lack of male parts however I must keep to my Beanie.
WOW cleavage... just sayen...
ok, off to work on my comic. YAY. Send me written word. I=lonely
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Three AM rambling
So it is 3am. I have been staring at the screen working on the comic so long that my wrist might fall off and my head feels like a second day hangover. I am thinking about getting a lap top that will run PhotoShop so that I can sit outside and work while enjoying the day.
My fave time of year is approaching. Autumn. I should probably not love it so much. The hibernation of all the green I hold so dear. But there is something so magical about the change over. I feel it in my core when it happens. Can't put it into words right now but maybe I can closer to the time. Well, good morning world. Were is everyone? I miss you all!
Give me something to read!
My fave time of year is approaching. Autumn. I should probably not love it so much. The hibernation of all the green I hold so dear. But there is something so magical about the change over. I feel it in my core when it happens. Can't put it into words right now but maybe I can closer to the time. Well, good morning world. Were is everyone? I miss you all!
Give me something to read!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
What I have been doing...
So it has been forever since I stopped my rushed life and posted something interesting on here. What to tell you... hmmm. Well, I healed from my operation. Everything went nicely. I feel as if I have been reborn with energy and the will to live again. This is an emotion that is far to intense to ever describe with words. All at once I could BE again.
SO.. as I was recovering from surgery I planed a trip to the city of New York. I had never been and wanted to use my newly found ability to move, and well... move....
We went once I received the "ok" from the doctor and knew for sure that I was cured.
I walked all over that city. I learned the subway system so well that was able to direct a local on what rail she needed to be on. It felt good... no GREAT to be able to grab a bottle of water and just head out the hotel door. Not knowing were I was going to go to next but just going. 9 months before I could barely sit on my front porch.
I almost broke down in tears standing on Broadway.
Now... I know I know.... wait a minute Steph... isn't that city that represents everything that you are against about humanity. The complete lack of nature, the human waist and pollution. The concrete world invasion? Why... yes it is! But that did not stop the complete awe that such an adventure gave me. Not to mention standing in the same place that my grandparents married after stepping off the boat from Scotland and Ireland. And the people! It is myth that New Yorkers are jerks. I did not meet one mean New Yorker that was not in the customer serves industry and lets be fair... people around the globe in that position can be jerks.
What a rush.
NEXT...
I went camping people! Now.... to the everyday reader this statement will hit them something like this. "Camping? Big deal. I do that every weekend." Or "camping?! Yuck... why is that so great?"
Well folks..... I am a nature junky. and for the past 4 years I have not really been able to barely leave my house. Camping and Hiking, something I once was able to do all the time as a normal part of my existence and way of life, was suddenly something that I could not even conceive as a possibility. Like going to the moon or a happy long lived celebrity marriage.
I went camping for 4 days. It was the best feeling. I fell asleep under the stars and beside a crackling camp fire. I wept.
So, I am sorry to my readers and video watchers that I have been away from my PC. I have been living the life that I have been missing. Now searching for a job is my new goal. I am been out of work so long that it is SO HARD to find anyone that will even look at my Res. Well... it will happen I know it.
Talk to me people... what about you?
SO.. as I was recovering from surgery I planed a trip to the city of New York. I had never been and wanted to use my newly found ability to move, and well... move....
We went once I received the "ok" from the doctor and knew for sure that I was cured.
I walked all over that city. I learned the subway system so well that was able to direct a local on what rail she needed to be on. It felt good... no GREAT to be able to grab a bottle of water and just head out the hotel door. Not knowing were I was going to go to next but just going. 9 months before I could barely sit on my front porch.
I almost broke down in tears standing on Broadway.
Now... I know I know.... wait a minute Steph... isn't that city that represents everything that you are against about humanity. The complete lack of nature, the human waist and pollution. The concrete world invasion? Why... yes it is! But that did not stop the complete awe that such an adventure gave me. Not to mention standing in the same place that my grandparents married after stepping off the boat from Scotland and Ireland. And the people! It is myth that New Yorkers are jerks. I did not meet one mean New Yorker that was not in the customer serves industry and lets be fair... people around the globe in that position can be jerks.
What a rush.
NEXT...
I went camping people! Now.... to the everyday reader this statement will hit them something like this. "Camping? Big deal. I do that every weekend." Or "camping?! Yuck... why is that so great?"
Well folks..... I am a nature junky. and for the past 4 years I have not really been able to barely leave my house. Camping and Hiking, something I once was able to do all the time as a normal part of my existence and way of life, was suddenly something that I could not even conceive as a possibility. Like going to the moon or a happy long lived celebrity marriage.
I went camping for 4 days. It was the best feeling. I fell asleep under the stars and beside a crackling camp fire. I wept.
So, I am sorry to my readers and video watchers that I have been away from my PC. I have been living the life that I have been missing. Now searching for a job is my new goal. I am been out of work so long that it is SO HARD to find anyone that will even look at my Res. Well... it will happen I know it.
Talk to me people... what about you?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Sometimes...
Sometimes I feel like ripping my hair out of my skull and scream until I am coughing up blood SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO MUCH NOISE!!!!!!!!
TO MUCH NOISE!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 8, 2010
A Strange love
Have you ever felt that feeling. You know the one I mean… the feeling in your throat and in the pit of your stomach. That feeling you get when you see or meet someone for the first time and you know… you just know… that you could love them with all of your being?
I am not simply talking of the love that you feel between a man and a woman as lovers. I am talking about all people. A love that you can feel for a best friend, a child, or a lover.
An overpowering feeling that you and this person are kindred spirits.
I felt this feeling today. I will not name the name of the person I felt it for, but I did. It was not a sexual lusty love, but a kindred spirit love. A love that if I expressed it too them, they might see me as strange or freaky. Possibly even stalker like.
I love finding these people. It is like falling in love for the first time.
I am not simply talking of the love that you feel between a man and a woman as lovers. I am talking about all people. A love that you can feel for a best friend, a child, or a lover.
An overpowering feeling that you and this person are kindred spirits.
I felt this feeling today. I will not name the name of the person I felt it for, but I did. It was not a sexual lusty love, but a kindred spirit love. A love that if I expressed it too them, they might see me as strange or freaky. Possibly even stalker like.
I love finding these people. It is like falling in love for the first time.
Holy macadamia nuts Batman!
So here I am. Another day another blog. A new and exciting place to spread my thoughts and delusional thinking to the world. Readers BEWARE; a vast amount of malarkey and wenging may occur while reading this blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
